A unique combination of beliefs, values and experiences come together to brew a one-of-a-kind personality that’s ‘YOU’.
Ever wondered about the different elements that contribute to the making of you?
In this fast-paced world, I often find myself gravitating towards slowing down and examining the processes that are involved in our making and this is one such attempt.
At the core of us is an unfathomably complex system of beliefs that drive our thoughts, emotions and behaviours helping us make decisions and function in this world. Our consciousness is layered and so are our beliefs. It fascinates me when I say that this sophisticated system was built entirely by us, some consciously and some NOT so consciously.
And how did we create this multiplex within us? By consciously or unconsciously interpreting every single experience in our life, moment to moment.
Let’s understand the different layers of beliefs we hold in the ecosystem within us. Imagine you are standing on the tip of the iceberg and looking down.
Conscious Believes
The part of the iceberg that’s on the surface comprises our conscious beliefs, we are aware of them and make a conscious choice to adopt them. For example, I believe creating a safe and empowering space within is the key to a life of freedom.
Now, this belief didn’t just happen, it went through years of conscious learning, unlearning and reiterations (How I arrived at this belief that’s a story for another day). I continue to go deeper, at some point, I might find it baseless and drop it too. After all, nothing is permanent.
Subconscious beliefs
The part of the iceberg that’s below the surface, but we can get a blurry view if we put in some effort, that part comprises our subconscious beliefs. We are often unaware of them but our actions give them away. If you pay attention to your thoughts, emotions or actions and trace backward, you can often find the underlying belief.
This reminds me of a funny story from a few years ago. I and my then boyfriend were travelling from Uttarkashi to Dehradun in the north of India by road and I was experiencing motion sickness. It was past lunchtime when we arrived at Dehradun and we were hungry. The heavy aroma of kebabs from the street side stalls filled the air and it made me nauseous. We managed to find a secluded restaurant a little away from the hustle and bustle. As soon as we settle down, the staff hands over the menu and I see my man eagerly ordering a Biryani and turns towards me to ask “What would you like to have?” only to see me triggered and upset.
Thankfully, before the situation could go worse, I paused and reflected on my emotion and reaction and layers of subconscious beliefs began to unravel. While Biryani was just a favourite dish for him, I come from a culture that associated Biryani with celebration and by eating biryani, what was he celebrating? My sickness? Now, that opens up another belief, when “I am experiencing something, the other person should experience it with me.” Damn!
This is a typical example of a cultural belief that was subconsciously driving my choices without my awareness until I paid attention to it that day and consciously dropped it.
Unconscious beliefs
There is a large part of the iceberg that’s hidden from us, that comprises our unconscious beliefs, these are often hidden from us, these could be our repressed emotions or forgotten memories. Although these are hidden, they do contribute to how we function. These have become so ingrained in us over time that we often fail to notice their existence.
Let me give you a common example here, have you observed some people speak very fast with choppy sentences? It could be an indicator of an unconscious belief that “I don’t deserve to take up space”. I carried this belief until somebody pointed it out and I acknowledged it. Now, although the belief has shifted, I need to make a conscious effort to shift the practice.
Our cultural context plays a major role in shaping our beliefs and we often gravitate towards people that carry similar beliefs as we do. It helps us feel safe.
Within these three layers of beliefs, there could be empowering ones that help us thrive and experience life to the fullest Eg. I believe I can!
There could be limiting ones that might block us from reaching our full potential Eg. I’m not good at it.
There could be contradicting beliefs, where there could be multiple beliefs contradicting each other, causing conflicts within you. Eg. you believe “I can learn anything I put my mind into” and you also believe “ I am not made for this kind of a thing”. Where a judgement towards a particular skill might stop you from learning it.
From our beliefs arises our values and how we interpret our experiences, although it’s not a linear process, they often influence each other.
The good part is, our beliefs are not fixed. Just like how we chose to adopt them we can also choose to question, analyse, drop or replace them. Becoming aware of our beliefs gives us a deeper understanding of ourselves and equips us to make more conscious and empowered choices.
How do we become aware of our beliefs, the only way I know so far is by paying attention. By learning to be in a state of observation, observing our thoughts, emotions and actions and reflecting on them. Every time a belief shows up, acknowledge it, analyse if it’s empowering or disempowering and in what ways (A belief that’s empowering in one context might be disempowering in another) and choose what you would like to do with it.
Don’t you believe that you are this mysterious being, who carries a universe of an inner world that deserves to be understood, if not by anybody else, by yourself?
I often find myself asking myself this question and today I would like to ask you, “What would your life look like if you had chosen every belief consciously?” Can you imagine that? If you can, then do share it in the comments, my imagination isn’t supporting me here.
I’m looking forward to some interesting perspectives and engaging conversations in the comments.
Wishing you a happy journey within 🙂